Helping You Raise Healthy Babies

99 Funny Jokes for Kids

By on November 18, 2017 in Activities for Kids, Parenting Tips with 0 Comments

Children always love to laugh and like to have to fun. Nothing is more adorable than to see your children laugh. To help you entertain your children, here are 99 funny jokes for kids which will make your children laugh.

Read More: Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

99 Best Funny Jokes for Children

Knock-knock jokes

  1. Pizza.
    Pizza who?
    Pizza really great guy!
  1. Interrupting, squawking parrot.
    Interrupting, squawking parr-
    SQUAAAAAAAAAWK!
  1. Little old lady.
    Little old lady who?
    Wow, I didn’t know you could yodel!
  1. Lettuce.
    Lettuce who?
    Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
  1. Cows go.
    Cows go who?
    No, silly. Cows go “moo!”

jokes for kids

  1. Ash.
    Ash who?
    Gesundheit!
  1. Figs.
    Figs who?
    Fix your doorbell, it’s broken!
  1. Who’s there?

          Yule log.

           Yule log who?

           Yule log the door after you let me in, won’t you?

  1. Who’s there?Ketchup who?
    Ketchup with me, and I’ll tell you!

Read More: Funny Thanksgiving Jokes

Wordplay jokes

  1. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
    A: Nacho cheese!

    11. Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

          A: Frostbite!

12.  Q: What do elves learn in school?
          A: The elf-abet.

  1. Q: Why are seagulls called seagulls?
    A: Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels!
  2. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
    A: He wanted to go to high school.
  1. Q: Where do pencils go for vacation?
    A: Pencil-vania.
  1. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?
    A: To go with the traffic jam!
  2. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
    A: You put a little boogie in it.
  3. Q: Which flower talks the most?
    A: Tulips, of course, because they have two lips!
  4. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus?
    A: You’re a fun guy [fungi].
  1. Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get an earring?
    A: About a buck an ear [buccaneer]!
  2. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
    A: An impasta!
  3. Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing himself a lullaby?
    A: He was a little hoarse.
  4. Q: What kind of lion never roars?
    A: A dandelion!
  5. Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
    A: Arrrrrr!
  6. Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
    A: A tuba toothpaste.
  7. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
    A: Because 7, 8, 9.
  8. Q: Why are fish so smart?
    A: Because they live in schools!
  9. Q: What time do you go to the dentist?
    A: At tooth-hurty!
  10. After many years, a prisoner is finally released.
    He runs around yelling, “I’m free! I’m free!”
    A little kid walks up to him and says, “So what? I’m 4.”

Just silly jokes

  1. Q: What did 0 say to 8?
    A: Nice belt!
  1. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
    A: Because they might peel!
  2. Q: How do bees get to school?
    A: They take the school buzz, of course!
  1. Q: What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle’s back?
    A: Wheeee!
  2. Q: What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
    A: A milk shake!
  3. Q: What do you get if you cross a frog with a rabbit?
    A: A bunny ribbit.
  4. Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
    A: A towel!
  1. A snake kid asks his mom, “Mom, are we poisonous?” His mother says, “Why do you want to know?” The snake kid says, “because I just bit my tongue.”
  1. Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
    A: Sherlock Bones
  1. Q: What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
    A: “Bone Appetit!”
  1. Q: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
    A: He had no body to dance with!
  1. Q: What do you call a fat pumpkin?
    A: A plumpkin.
  1. Q: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
    A: When you’re a mouse.
  1. Q: How do you make a witch itch?
    A: Take away the W.
  1. Q: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
    A: A grave problem.
  1. Q: Why did the Vampire read the New York Times?
    A: He heard it had great circulation.
  1. Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?

           A: To the moo-vies!

  1. Q: Why are elephants so wrinkled?

           A: Because they take too long to iron!

  1. Q: What has four wheels and flies?

           A: A garbage truck!

  1. Q:  Why did the man run around his bed?

          A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

  1. Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?

          A: Of course!  The Empire State Building can’t jump!

  1. Q: What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?
    A: A spelling bee.
  2. Q: Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
    A: The baa-baa shop.
  1. Q: What’s the most musical part of the chicken?
    A: The drumstick.
  1. Q: How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
    A: Ten-tickles.
  1. Q:Why did the chicken get a penalty?
    A: For fowl play.
  1. Q: Why did the melon jump into the lake?
    A:It wanted to be a water-melon.
  1. Q: What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy?
    A:A Mars bar.
  1. Q: What do call it when you help a lemon that’s in trouble?
    A: Lemon-aid.
  1. Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
    A: They go to the meat-ball.
  1. Q: How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
    A:When it’s full.
  1. Q:What did the tree say to the wind?
    A: Leaf me alone!
  1. Q: What do you call a funny mountain?
    A: Hill-arious!
  1. Q: What kind of music do planets listen to?
    A:Nep-tunes.
  1. Q: When do doctors get mad?
    A: When they run out of patients (as in, “patience”).
  1. Q: Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?
    A: He wanted to win the no-bell prize.
  1. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
    A: Sneak-ers.
  1. Q: Why was the math book sad?
    A: Because it had so many problems.
  1. Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses inside?
    A: Her students were so bright!
  1. Q:Why did the computer go to the doctor?
    A: It had a virus.
  1. Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?
    A: In the dictionary.
  1. Q: What starts with the letter “t,” is filled with “t,” and ends in “t”?
    A:A teapot.
  1. Q:What kind of button doesn’t unbutton?
    A: A belly button.
  1. Q: What type of jam can’t be eaten?

           A: A traffic jam!

  1. Q: What keeps rock stars cool?

          A: Their fans!

  1. Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

           A: Because he was the best in his field!

  1. Q: What type of dog can tell the time?

          A: A watch dog!

  1. Q: What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

          A: An inVESTigator!

  1. Q: What kind of nut has no shell?

          A: A doughnut!

  1. Q: What runs but cannot walk?

          A: A river!

  1. Q: What piece of wood is like a king?

          A: A ruler!

  1. Q: What kind of fish is famous?

          A: A STAR fish!

  1. Q: What has three letters and and starts with gas?
    A: A car
  1. Q: What did the laywer name his daughter?
    A: Sue.
  1. Q: Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
    A: Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
  1. Q: What did the calculator say to the math student?
    A: You can count on me!
  1. Q: What did one flower say to the other flower?
    A: Hey, bud!
  1. Q: What do basketball players and babies have in common?
    A: They both dribble.
  1. Q: What kind of dress can’t be worn?
    A: Address.
  1. Q: Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?
    A: She wanted to see a butterfly.
  1. Q: Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?
    A: Because he wanted to tie the score!
  1. Q: What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?
    A: Flood lights!
  1. Q: Where do computers go to dance?
    A: The disk-o!
  1. Q: Why did the tree get a computer?
    A: To log on.
  1. Q: Why don’t honest people need beds?
    A: They don’t lie.
  1. Q: What did the boat say to the pier?
    A: What’s up, dock?
  1. Q: There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn’t they get wet?
    A: It wasn’t raining!
  1. Q: How does a train sneeze?
    A: Ah-choo-choo!
  1. Q: What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?
    A: Where is pop corn?
  1. Q: Why is b always cool?
    A: Because it’s between ac.

Read More: 100 Funny Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids

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