Is your teenager often angry? Does she “explode” easily with anything? If your reasoning and scolding only escalate and worsen anger, there are things you can do to reduce tension and take control of the situation as a parent and adult.
Tips for Dealing with Angry Teenage Girls
Avoid confronting and yelling
Avoid confronting and yelling at your child when she is angry. The easiest thing in the world is to respond with anger to anger. You have to be stronger emotionally and act smartly. The first thing is to stay calm to avoid the situation getting worse. If you avoid adding fuel to the fire, she will have the opportunity to vent her anger and discuss the situation calmly later.
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Seek to reinforce positive behaviours
Sometimes children suffer from this disorder because they need attention. Therefore, you should talk to them, listen to them and try to understand them.
Do not hit her, under any circumstances
Faced with a huge lack of respect or consideration, some parents lose all control and reach to physical action and that is a terrible teaching. Avoid doing the same, no matter what you have heard from other parents or the way they raised their kids. The physical blow only teaches the child that the problems are solved with violence.
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Avoid threatening exaggerated punishments
The passion can lead you to promise punishments that later you will not be able to fulfil, and in the long run, that hurts you. Never promise a punishment or consequence that is unrealistic or disproportionate to the fault. Instead, talk to your child and explain what behaviours are unacceptable and what consequences there will be if she disobeys you. Be firm and keep your word so that your daughter respects you and learns the lesson well.
Parents should be tolerant
Parents should be tolerant of the manifestations of diversity expressed by their child. But beware, tolerating does not mean giving in to everything the teenager asks for. Sometimes it will seem that the relationship has broken. Rarely the teenager will do anything to normalize it, it will be the parents who will retune the relationship applying discipline when necessary and showing the teenager that despite the changes and discussions they still love her.
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Think before you speak
In the relationship between parents and children, the key is in the dialogue. To speak of a problem is to have it already half solved. Pretending to educate without propitiating dialogue is like trying to build a house without a secure foundation.
Fear of confrontation
Ignore their attitude due to fear of confrontation. Common sense will dictate us in each case when certain behaviour deserves to be stopped promptly or worth more to be overlooked. Sometimes it happens that we turn a blind eye to important teenage anger issues and become obsessed with insignificant details. Precisely this fear of confrontation is what usually causes the clashes.
Wait for a more appropriate moment
Do not try to reason with your daughter when she is angry and emotions are overwhelmed. But if your daughter is in the form of a full angry girl, logic will not do you any good. And the frustration of lack of understanding will only make things worse and perhaps words will be exchanged that you will later regret. It is preferable that you let her retreat to her room and wait for another more appropriate moment to explain your points.
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Reinforce the importance of maintaining mutual respect
In this, you have to preach by example. It is not a sign of weakness telling a child: “I am so angry now that I cannot talk to you. We talk when I calm down and you calm down too. “On the contrary, it takes a lot of inner strength to master impulses, especially anger. Avoid using vulgar words or insults so that your child learns to discuss, but in a clean and respectful way.
Seek help if your child is very aggressive
If the anger may endanger her or others, do not waste time and seek professional help. It is necessary for a therapist or a trained psychologist to discover why she is acting in that way and to teach her tactics to handle her frustrations.
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Keep the communication channels
Choose an opportune and private time to try to find out if there is something that is disturbing your teenager. Assure her that it is normal to feel angry and annoyed, but that we are responsible for what we do when we are angry.
Focus on her feelings
You need to focus on what your teen is feeling and in this way appease their anger. It is at these times when your child needs to internalize their own feelings. Concentrate on her and replace them with others like “you sound a bit frustrated” or “today I see you very angry”. After your teenager seems to be aware of their feelings, it is important to let the moment pass and then, when everything is quieter, return to the emotional issues that afflicted them.
Show her different ways to express anger
Give your teenager alternative tools instead of choosing to physically or verbally attacking a specific person. Suggest that she can express pain and anger in an effective and constructive way that gives her peace and relief.
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Always listen to her first
Tell your teenager that you are always willing to listen if she wants to tell you how she feels. Keeping yourself available and showing interest in her life can give her the help she needs to cope with difficult times.
Respect their privacy
It is important that parents respect the privacy of their children at this stage. If you need to know details about any new topic, it is necessary to wait for them to take the first step and talk about it with you. Do not press them. As forcedly or repeatedly asking for a thing often ends in anger.
Children struggle with their feelings of inadequacy in different stages of life and depending of course on the situation in which they are faced. The parents must wait for the proper time and then connect with them as many times with these challenging attitudes the children give us a message of something they need.
Always look for options
Aggression can be triggered by a variety of things and it is important to sit down with your child and discuss these issues that trigger aggression. By having this discussion you can discover things you did not know, because they have been hiding these feelings.
It is practically impossible to walk through life without feeling pain and anger at some point. The way a person responds to these difficult emotions sets the stage for future behaviours and actions. If your child experiences painful situations that lead to emotional pain and consequent anger, help her to process her feelings and to work on them effectively. With the right guidance, your child should be able to solve their difficult emotions in a positive way.