Parenting itself is very daunting. The challenge doubles when you are doing it all alone. You don’t have any one to fall back on. You don’t have anyone to blame. From changing your baby’s diaper to paying the tuition fees, everything you have to manage alone.
However, you should remember that you are not alone. There are various parenting blogs and pages in the Facebook where like-minded single parents come and interact. There are many factors they talk about.
The tips of surviving as a single parent are most common suggestions found online. Some of the tips are honest whilst some sounds vague. Here in this blog we will not give you a reality check. If you are already a single parent then the following are tips for you to do it proper.
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1. A Single Parenting is Not Unnatural
No matter what others tell you, raising a child alone is not abnormal. In an ideal scenario, a child will love to be with both of his/her parents, in order to be happy. However, he/she is more inclined towards one of them. Only one person tends to manage all the needs and requirements of the child, till he/she grows up. For that reason, being a single mom or a single dad is not absurd. If your child is attached to you, you can definitely do it alone. An inactive partner does more harm than any good.
2. Take a Breather
Sounds impossible, but try and schedule some time for yourself. Maybe some time after work, you decide to spend on your own. Or you can go out with your friends on one day of the weekends. These short ‘you times’ will help you cope with the hardships of single parenting. They will not only give you some moments to enjoy but at the same time it will provide you the energy to carry on.
3. Don’t Ruin your Child’s Childhood
A child needs a world of imagination. A child will indulge in frivolity. Do not force him/her to become an adult. There is no rush. Do not discuss every problem with your child. It will burden your child with unnecessary pressure. It can lead your child to depression. Do not tell your child to take sides and complicate their life.
4. Do not Separate Your Child from Your Ex
Your Ex has the right to meet your child. Do not stop that. Try and not show discontent for that. Your child needs to understand that separation between you two does not mean that he/she cannot enjoy time with your partner. Do not force your child to take sides. This will help them remain neutral and gauge the situation, better.
5. Ask for Help
The saying is that it takes an entire village to raise a child. So, there is no shame in asking for help. You should have back-up options in case of emergencies. May be your parents, neighbors, nanny or even your partner can be of use here. Make as many people available for this, as possible.
6. You cannot Love Enough for both the Parents
Should remember that you are raising your child alone. You cannot love on behalf of your partner. Do not hesitate to be strict to your child only because he/she is only having one parent. Be stern when necessary. Otherwise, your child might get a wrong impression. He/she might take advantage of the situation. You should have a proper understanding with your child.
7. Get used to the Loneliness
Perhaps the most difficult part is to get used to the loneliness once your kid is asleep. The house will get quite and you will be left with nothing else to do. You must utilize this time to take rest or do something creative to entertain yourself. You must build up energy for the upcoming day. Single parenting is a daily challenge. So, you should savor this quite phase and get used to it. It will also help you to contemplate on things in a proper way. Make some plans, on your mind, to surprise your kid or plan an outing with your friends, during this alone time.
8. Keep yourself Steady
It is easy to get wasted trying to drain out your pressure of being a single mom or dad. However, it is not worthy. You need to keep yourself steady, if you are raising a child alone. You cannot let it go in the middle. It is actually easier said than done. But a bad night not only harms your child for a day, but it also makes him/her insecure. He/she might tend to lose confidence in you as a parent. That can cause depression in him/her.
9. Think Thrice Before Dating Someone
Many people commit the mistake of jumping into a relationship, right away. This creates more trouble for the child. He/she might feel neglected. Also many people do not mix with children well. Also your child might not like the person. That is why your choice should be very cautious. If you are ready to choose a partner, also include your child in the decision. That will help him/her get attuned with the person.
10. Surround Yourself with Positive People
You must have a positive support group. You will draw energy from them. Remove all the negative influences from life. They will tend to drag you down. They will make you lose track and lose self-confidence. If your surround yourself with positive people, getting through the hard time will become easier. You know that you have to be there for your child. Also time passes very quickly. Soon you will find that your child has grown up a lot and there is nothing more to worry about.
11. Let people in
You cannot actually shut every door and be a single parent. Single parenting is tough and at certain point of time you need to let others in to help you out. You have to realize that you cannot do it alone. Do not let your child suffer. Take help from close relatives and friends and try to give the best to your child.
Single parenting is difficult. But it helps you build up a character. It is also not impossible. However, do not be very tough on yourself. Accept the challenge and find avenues to make it easier for both you and your child.
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