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25 Funny Tweets About Parenting

By on July 1, 2017 in Parenting Tips with 0 Comments

Parenting can be quite a hilarious experience. Twitter is full of parents who put up the most funny and amusing parenting tweets. They are going to laugh out loud!

Here are 25 of the most funny tweets that any parent can relate to.

tweets about parenting

11 Best Parenting Tweets

1. Buried with kids (Jen Good)

I just had to ask my children why there was burnt toast in the backyard….this was totally not covered in What to Expect when Your Expecting.

tweets about parenting

2. Mommies Knows fresh

If you enjoy asking “Does anyone have to go pee pee before we leave?!?!!” then have I got the job for you…

tweets about parenting

3. Xploding Unicorn (James Breakwell)

3-year-old: If I don’t eat my food, will a dinosaur smell it and come eat me?

Wife: *looks at me*

Me:

Wife: Yes.

tweets about parenting

4. How To Be A Dad 

I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.

tweets about parenting

5. Let Me Start (Kim Bongiorno)

I would have gotten back to you sooner but my kid has been taking pictures of the inside her mouth with my phone for the past 7 hours.

tweets about parenting

6. Ramblin’ Mama

I hate when I play with my kids for six hours, then it turns out it’s only been 20 minutes.

tweets about parenting

7. Lhlodder (Mommy Owl)

Kid: Do it this way!

Me: *Does it exactly*

Kid: NO, not like that!

tweets about parenting

8. Mommy_cusses (Mommy Cusses)

Instructor: Welcome to our Summer with Kids Preparedness class. Our first lesson is how to apply sunscreen. Everyone grab an angry raccoon.

tweets about parenting

9. Mama bird diaries (Kelcey Kintner)

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

tweets about parenting

10. One Funny Mummy

What happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom unless your kids are with you then the whole world’s gonna know.

tweets about parenting

11. Parent Normal

If it ever looks like my wife and I are awkwardly sitting on the same side of a booth, it’s just because our kids are under the table.

tweets about parenting

12. My Questionable Life

Friend: I found a great babysitter if you want to use her. She’s patient and kind

Me: No way. I don’t want to raise my kids’ expectations

tweets about parenting

13. Anna Farris

Potty training is going so great! I’m a natural!

tweets about parenting

14. Domestic Goddess

Ever notice in the story of the 3 bears, Papa Bear’s porridge is piping hot, baby’s is perfect, & poor Mama Bear’s is cold?

I get it now.

tweets about parenting

15. Sarcastic Mimmy

Day 30 of summer break:

My son is mad at me because I won’t let him use a saw.

tweets about parenting

16. Rodney Lacroix

Wife: Think we’ll be empty-nesters?

Me: What’s that?

Wife: People who miss their kids after they’ve moved out.

Then we laughed and laughed.

tweets about parenting

17. Stephanie Ortiz

It’s ironic that today is the longest day of the year, since school ended today, which already made it the longest day of the year.

tweets about parenting

18. Real American Dadass

No one’s more delusional than a parent who actually thinks they’ll show up somewhere on time.

tweets about parenting

19. Spaced Mom

7yo: I’m asking mom to take me to the bathroom

4yo: I’ll ask when u get back

7: Should we ask at the same time?

Both: Hahahaha

tweets about parenting

20. FatherWithTwins (Robert Knop)

Me:”sit down in your chair, or you’re going to fall”

M:

Me:*repeat 10 times*

M:

M: *falls off chair, looks shocked*

(repeat every day)

tweets about parenting

21. PhuckinCody (Phteven)

i feel like “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” would be a much better book if it were written by Stephen King

tweets about parenting

22. TeamCortez5 (TwinningMom)

Kids all over the world are struggling to overcome hunger and war. Mine just woke me up screaming bloody murder because his toe is itchy.

tweets about parenting

23. Mommywhitfield (Amandaconda)

*Toddler walks up, kisses my knee, turns away*

“Aw! Aren’t you sweet?”

*Toddler kisses refrigerator, cabinet door and dishwasher*

“Oh.”

tweets about parenting

24. MidgardMom (Momma of Midgard)

Me: Wow! I got home early today! Nice!

*looks around, realizes I forgot to pick up a kid from school

tweets about parenting

25. Amydillon (Amy Dillon)

Day 1,459 of my son acting shocked and aggrieved when I tell him to go brush his teeth before bed.

tweets about parenting

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