When it comes to discipline, the kids often try to test the parent’s limit and when it comes to disciplining your child there is no quick solution or some magic pill. It is a time consuming tedious process and you including every other parent in this world have to go through it. You need to discipline your child so that your little one becomes fit to stay in a society. However, your child does not know anything about the rules and for him/her you are just being a pushover. So instead of being pushy and strict as a drill sergeant you should follow certain steps so that your communication and expectations regarding discipline is well received by your child. Often becoming too strict about discipline might make your child disobedient and stubborn.
Tips to Discipline Your Child
Reward Good Behavior: While we focus too much on correcting the mistakes of our children, we often forget to reward good and positive behaviors. You must always point out and reward good behaviors of your child. No matter how small the deed is, don’t miss out on the opportunity to appreciate your child. By rewarding good behavior you not only will instill confidence in your child but also at the same time he/she will have faith in you and your judgment when you will tell him/her not to do something in particular. Rewarding good behavior is also important as your child will tend to repeat the acts which fetched him/her the rewards.
Rules Should be Clear: You cannot simply change the rules on every second day. It is hard to stick to rules always but if you change them a lot, your child might sense certain lack in the confidence in the rules set by you and that might cause long term problems for both of you. For instance if you have allotted him/her a 30 minutes video-game time each day, you should make sure and keep track of the time your child is playing the game. Same monitoring can be done for study-time, brushing and other daily activities.
Neutralize Arguments: It is very difficult to argue with your child specially if he/she is steering a no-win dispute. That is why as an adult you also must not get too involved in the process. Remember that your goal is to discipline your child and not win some petty arguments. So it is important that you first listen to what your child has to say and then instead of saying only “no’, counter his/her points with logic. In most of the cases your child will tend to argue but make sure you follow the same strategy till he/she realizes that his/her points were not logical.
Buy Some Time for Yourself: Whenever your child breaks a rule or showing signs of indiscipline, you don’t have to act on it on an immediate basis. Instead it is always a smarter choice to take some time and listen to what your child has to say. Statements like, “The thing you did was not good at all! Let me think what can be done about that!” will help your child to put forward his/her case and also it will help you be empathetic to some extent instead of just punishing your little one. Showing empathy will help the child feel ashamed and also connected to you at the same time. Under such circumstances it is important that you do not alienate your child from your surroundings as otherwise it will affect him/her negatively and will not help your cause in bringing discipline.
Model Good Behavior: When you are telling your child not to do something wrong, make sure that you also abide by the same rules. Like it or not, your child always models his/her behavior based on what you do. Your actions is better received than your words by your child and for that reason it is essential that you also model a disciplined life so that it is easier for your child to follow and learn. Ideally you cannot ask your child to do or follow certain discipline which you yourself never follow. So it is important that you be a good parent and you help your child to learn from you.
The truth is that it is very difficult to raise a disciplined child. You must realize that despite your best efforts there will be bad days and you need to push your level of patience to stay calm under such circumstances. Bringing discipline or maintaining it is not a one-time affair and you need to constantly be at it to make the results happen for both and your little one.