If you want to be a successful parent and set a good example for your children at the same time, it’s important to work on your attention span and focus on the things that matter. Doing so not only allows you to spend more quality time with your kids, but also gives you an opportunity to lead by example and demonstrate what good attention habits look like.
In today’s busy, technology-congested world, this can be hard to do.
So what steps can you take to maximize your attention span?
Prepare Your Phone
If you’re like most parents, the biggest culprit behind your compromised attention is your phone. Your phone is naturally a source of distraction and attention, sending you constant notifications and offering you unlimited entertainment. It’s possible to overcome this through willpower, but it’s much easier to physically prepare your phone so it’s much less distracting to you.
- Get a minimalistic case. There are many types of phone cases out there, and all of them have the potential to protect your phone from damage – but some of them are more visible and attention-grabbing than others. Invest in a phone case that’s neutral, minimalistic, and not especially exciting. It’s a small change that could lead to a big impact in how you see and think about your device.
- Uninstall distracting apps. Next, start uninstalling apps that tend to distract you. When you’re standing in line or are otherwise bored, what’s the app you unconsciously open, without even thinking about it? Get rid of it. No smartphone app should have that much control over your life.
- Set time limits. For any apps that you just can’t bear to uninstall, use your phone to set meaningful time limits. For example, you may allow yourself an hour of social media time every day, closing off access to those apps after the hour has elapsed.
- Silence notifications. Finally, silence all notifications that aren’t absolutely necessary. Notifications train us to constantly shift our attention – and they’re a subtle, but impactful source of stress for many of us.
End Multitasking Now
There are no good arguments for multitasking. It doesn’t work. Multitasking doesn’t make you more productive, and in many cases, it makes you less productive at both tasks you’re trying to accomplish simultaneously. As a parent, you’ll be tempted to pay attention to your kid while also doing something else, but this probably isn’t going to work; focus on one thing at a time. With practice, it will get much easier and the benefits will become clear.
Get Physical Exercise
Physical exercise is a great way to burn off stress and help clear your mind. It may be tough to find time for exercise as a busy parent, but if you can squeeze in even 20 minutes of vigorous activity, your mind and attention will be better for it.
Practice Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation is a research-backed practice that can help you reduce stress, improve your attention, and even boost your emotional intelligence – all of which are vital as a parent to young children. Even better, it’s something you can do for free, with no equipment or prior training required.
The basic idea is to focus on the present moment, acknowledging but letting go of any thoughts about the past or present. It’s best practiced in a quiet room with few distractions, but as you get better at this practice, you can eventually work it into your daily life whenever you need it.
Read
Some people are able to improve their attention spans and ability to focus, as well as their memory retention, simply by reading. What you read isn’t especially important; you can read dense nonfiction, thought-provoking sci-fi novels, or even trashy smut if that’s your preference. What’s important is that you spend time fully dedicating yourself to words on paper, so whatever words you happen to find interesting will suffice. With enough practice, you’ll get better at paying attention in other areas of your life.
Improve Your Sleep Hygiene
Getting enough sleep is critical for your physical and mental health. If you’re sleep deprived, your attention span is going to suffer. Obviously, parents have unique challenges when it comes to sleep, but it’s imperative that you find changes to your sleep routine that allow you to sleep comfortably and consistently. That could mean investing in better bedding, going to bed earlier, limiting screen time before bed, or even using natural sleep aids like chamomile tea. Experiment to find what works for you, and make sure you give yourself enough time to get ample sleep every night.
Consider Getting Help
If you’ve tried all these strategies and more, and you’re still not seeing the impact you want, it could be a sign that something else is affecting your attention span. For example, you may be struggling with ADHD without knowing it, or you may be suffering from another condition that’s limiting your ability to focus. Consider making an appointment with your primary care provider to discuss the issue if that’s the case.
If you’ve been struggling with a low attention span and limited focus for many years, you may feel like it’s a total lost cause. But the reality is we have a lot of control over our attention spans, and with better habits and practices, we can easily increase them. Use these strategies to become a more attentive parent – and eventually set a better example for your children.
